Wow, I saw this title, which was written by me a long time ago, with nothing wrtten in the body yet. I’ve forgotten what it was all about. What I am sure of, it’s not about me doing merajuk coz I’ve learned a long time a go that merajuk does not work in my family. Only mengamuk did! heh heh Coz in my family of a grandma, a single ma, and lots of siblings, nobody gave a d*** if you did not appear at dinner time, or sat there without eating- most probably the food would be gone, and you’d go hungry for nothing.
But mengamuk was sort of tolerated- sort of because even our sweet mak had her storm once in a while. I remembered her heaving a big water porcelain over her head and throwig it out of the door. Everybody scampered out of the way. I learned my lesson- that definitely brought better response than a merajuk.
I couldn’t heave and threw anything _ i did not have personal possessions; but I was allowed to rave and rant without repercussions. The only post mengamuk comment was like; “wow, we thought we heard a tiger escaped the zoo” heh heh. But I must admit that it was a not so good dimension of my upbringing, coz I later developed a bad habit of exploding, which had losts of repercussions in adult life.
I must tell you my progress now, having grown old, and with heavy doses of the dua rabbana afrigh alaina sabran, and subliminal messages on temper control, I dare to timidly claim that I’ve mellowed into an even tempered person- masyaAllah quwataila billaah- with lots of help from Allah, and slower reflex in age.
So what was it about this title that I wanted to write, alas old age has robbed me from the memory, so this is my fill in the blanks, which I am sure is something totally different than what I wanted to write.
Since my total existence now is to earn ALlah’s rahmah, and the big mission is doing dakwah, let me teach you the rabbana afrigh alaina sabran. It’s a dua from surah ..ooh I forgot, but it’s the part where Firaun’s magicians submit to Islam, and firaun threatened to chop off one hand and one foot each- that’s when they read this dua.
I discovered it when I was suffering self-shame post mengamuk, in my young adult days ( ooh I’m still ashamed now- thank Allah for allowing me into old age and better temper) Alhamdulillah I practiced it and I felt help from Allah in temper control. Don’t wait to read it when you are flying off the handle- coz that would not have helped ha ha. but read it everyday so that your strength in patience is built day by day, prayers by prayers.
There you go, for all the short tempered people. may Allah give you strenght and hope to improve yourself, and may Allah improve you, and may Allah forgive us always and shower us with rahmah. My hope is always for your love Allah, please take care of Nadiyah the short tempered used to be, and sabar insist-to-be, and also other short tempered been adn sabar wannabees.
Ameen, ya Allah, Ya Wadud, You who is full of love, please love us with all our shortcomings
